HOW TO GIVE HOPE TO SOMEONE
(PART 1)
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great.” — Mark Twain
Whatever is troubling me has been troubling others too? In my life, I have suffered, and overcome many crushing difficulties, and turned poison to medicine, by using the stress to drive my motivation in using the greatest secret “Human Power”.
When you feel hopeless, it is difficult to take any steps toward change.
In 1965 Martin Seligman "discovered" learned helplessness. He found that when animals are subjected to difficult situations they cannot control, they stop trying to escape. They become passive.
Human beings are the same. If you experience devastating defeats, a persistent situation that you couldn't change, or experienced a terrifying situation that you could not control your exposure to, then you may have lost hope for your ability to change your life or to change painful situations. Sometimes an ongoing mood disorder can lead to feelings of hopelessness.
Apathy or hopelessness may be puzzling to those around you. Why wouldn't you try to get a job, make friends, eat healthier, or leave someone who is abusive? When you have no hope, you see any efforts to change your life as futile. You may blame yourself. You might say that you cannot manage life, cannot make friends and cannot succeed in getting a job. You accept whatever happens as beyond your control. You may begin to despair.
When you don’t have hope, you have no energy or motivation for therapy or for any effort to change your situation. What's the use in reaching out to meet people? You are sure you will be rejected. Why bother exercising or cleaning your home or volunteering--it won't really make a difference. You know you will always be lonely, depressed, anxious, unemployed, or stuck in the same situation that is making you miserable. You don't want to risk the pain of further disappointment by even trying.
Unfortunately, this painful despair and resignation sets up a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you have no hope, no belief in therapy or that any action you take will make any difference, then that may well be the outcome. Change is very difficult, has multiple ups and downs, and requires motivation and commitment.
There are many ways to find hope. You may have your own way. I'd love to hear what has worked for you or someone you love.
Ways to Find Hope:
Find a clear path.
Being able to see how the steps you are taking will lead to desired change is critical to having hope. If you don't logically see how what you are doing can have a positive result, then carrying out the plan will likely be difficult. Write down each step that you need to take to get where you want to be. If someone else is working with you, then push him or her to explain how the steps lead to the results you want.
Look for role models who have found solutions.
There are many, many people who have overcome tremendous adversity. Reading their stories and surrounding yourself with supportive messages and people can help you build hope.
Do what you know you can do.
When you are in despair, taking one step that is out of your routine can help break the sense of powerlessness you have. Make your bed. Cook dinner. Talk to a friend. Take a step you know you can do and that action can make a difference over time. Keep doing it and then try to add more actions. Overcoming the inertia of helplessness can help you build hope.
Perform an Act of Kindness.
Doing acts of kindness can have a dramatic effect on your mood and outlook. Kindness triggers the release of serotonin, so it has an anti-depressant effect. It also calms stress and helps reduce pain.
Small acts of kindness that you do repeatedly can help you feel more connected and have a greater sense of contribution. Notice that doing acts of kindness repeatedly is important. Do acts of kindness daily. Even watching others perform acts of kindness can have a positive effect.
Part of kindness is to stop judging yourself and be kind to yourself as well. How would you treat someone else who was in your situation? Practice thinking of yourself with compassion.
Turn to your Faith.
Your faith can be a strong ally in holding onto to hope. Sometimes your faith offers the support of not being alone and trusting that a higher power is with you. If you are questioning your beliefs, then talk with someone in your faith that you respect. Others have encountered difficult times and they will understand. Voicing your questions is a step toward resolving your confusion and is also a step toward hope.
Practice Mindfulness while doing Acts of Kindness and in your everyday life.
Your thoughts may naturally wander to the past and focus on events that didn’t work out or other situations that were painful. That will often add to your depression and hopelessness. When you are depressed you have difficulty seeing any positive events or remembering that you were ever happy.
When you focus your attention in the here and now, you are able to find more peace and less stress.
Hope is Everywhere:
Hope is one of the greatest assets in the entire world. It is one of the greatest treasures we can ever find for ourselves. And it is one of the greatest gifts we can ever give to somebody else.
Hope provides us with motivation to persevere. It calls us to dream dreams of significance and influence. It begs us to work diligently with optimism and promise.
Hope is often found in the relationships we have secured around us. After all, when hope in ourselves begins to diminish (as it will at times), we must look elsewhere. In those moments, we look towards those around us for confidence and hope.
Surround yourself with people who speak confidence in your life. Nurture relationships with optimistic people who have overcome trial and hardship.
Remove people from your direct sphere of influence who discourage you, trample your creativity, or who are so self-absorbed they never help others.
Instead, seek people who inspire and believe in you.
In turn, do the same for others. See the good. Believe in potential. And encourage daily.
When I say the word love, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?
A Man and a Woman, relationships, it’s personal.
What about friends?
When I say the word rich, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?
Money, high class, house, car and so forth.
What about spiritual richness, or richness of your heart (the ability to do or give for others?
When I say the word food, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?
Mutton, chicken, steak and other nice stuff that will satisfy your hunger.
What about food for your soul like prayer or God’s word? What about food for your brain, something that will make you think twice the next time something happens?
I know that I said that we will have some food, but today I want to give you food for taught. Play Motivation Movie.
How often have you said that I cannot join him because he has a disability? Maybe that is contagious?
How many times have you said that he speaks with a stutter and if I become his friend, then I too will start to stutter?
How many times have you distanced yourself from someone just because they are not in the league that you are in? You have everything and he does not?
What about the time when a beggar came by and you turned him away?
Yes, this is fine just as long as it is not you. But God fore bid, even your life can change in a matter of seconds. I know, I have been through this. As long as you have a wonderful life, think about others, help them in any way you can.
I want to say that giving HOPE to someone is the same as giving LIFE to that person. So keep up the good work and God Bless You.