CAREGIVER OR SUPPORTER?
Caregiver or Supporter? Don’t Make the Mistake
Okay, let me ask you this question:
Are you a caregiver or supporter?
You might ask me right back,
“Well, Shailen, what’s the difference?”
A Caregiver or Carer is an unpaid or paid member of a person’s social network who helps them with activities of daily living. Caregiving is the most commonly used to address impairments related to old age, disability, a disease or a mental disorder.
A Supporter is a person who actively helps someone (not physical help), a person who gives encouragement and approval to someone or something.
Even in the many support groups, I’ve heard both terms used inter-changeably. But I do believe there is a difference. When I think of a caregiver, I think of one of those people who help someone with a long-term illness, like cancer, who needs help with everyday things that they can’t do for themselves.
In the world of bipolar disorder, that’s called enabling, however. Your loved one is not that ill. There are many things they can do for themselves, and these are things that you should NOT be doing for them. For example, you can oversee to make sure your loved one takes their medication, but you don’t have to actually GIVE it to them (literally put it in their mouth), to make sure they take it.
Your loved one isn’t an invalid, and you are not their caretaker. You shouldn’t be their enabler, either. You are simply their supporter.
In fact, if you do things for your loved one that they can do perfectly well by themselves, you can be doing more harm than good.
Part of their treatment is to learn to be productive again, and that means learning how to do things for themselves. You shouldn’t interfere with this process.
Even if your loved one wants you to. This is called dependency. And they can become over-dependent on you, which is not good, either.
This is another thing they should be learning in treatment, but if it gets too difficult for them, they may revert back to the easy way – depending on you to take care of them. And there you are – right back in the circle of being a caretaker instead of being a supporter.
In the circle of Cancer, Cancer doesn’t only affect the person with Cancer, it affects the lives of the people who surround them as well. Informing children of the current situation is one of the best ways of levitating the stress of wondering how the child may take to the news. Telling kids about Cancer is a Support Tool for Parents.
What Do Caregivers Do?
If helping people comes second nature to you, you might be ready to be a caregiver. Caregivers, also known as home health or professional care aiders, give assistance to people who are sick, injured, mentally or physically disabled, or the elderly and fragile. Caregivers work in the home and help their clients with daily activities, such as bathing and bathroom functions, feeding, grooming, taking medication, and some housework. Caregivers help clients make keep appointments with doctors, provide or arrange transportation and serve as a companion for their clients. Caregivers are either hired by a client or their family, or report directly to a physician or a nurse.
Job Skills and Requirements:
Attention to Detail: Some clients have specific rules or schedules that must be minded, or specific rules must be followed.
Interpersonal Skills: Caregivers work in a very personal way with their clients. Some will be in pain or very sensitive to their fragility. Caregivers must be sensitive and compassionate with clients.
Stamina: Caregivers might need to lift clients into the bathtub, cars and into bed, and need strength.
Time Management: Caregivers are schedule keepers. Caregivers have to be there to make sure clients get up on time, make sure medication is taken on schedule and clients get to appointments on time.
Role of a Support Person:
The main role of a Support person is to help their loved one heal through support, encouragement and communication during their illness.
You want to be a good supporter, right?
And you want your loved one to get better, right?
In fact, you want your loved one to become stable, right?
And I’ll even do you one better. I’ll bet you would love for your loved one to become high-functioning, wouldn’t you?
Well, the way to do that is for them to learn to become independent. And the only way to do that is if you become simply a support for them, and not a caretaker or enabler.
Now you know! And now that you know, hopefully you won’t make the mistake that a lot of other supporters make.
Yes, I Know, my wife is laughing at me. Why? She will say “Practice what you Preach”. Yes I know. On the same token, not every day is the same for me, yes some days I just need a supporter and other days I need both a caregiver and supporter. But she knows, I try my best even though it may not seem that way.
Join a Support Group:
Support groups can meet in person, by phone, or online. They may help you gain new insights into what is happening, get ideas about how to cope, and help you know that you're not alone. In a support group, people may talk about their feelings, trade advice, and try to help others who are dealing with the same kinds of issues. Some people like to go and just listen. And others prefer not to join support groups at all. Some people aren't comfortable with this kind of sharing.
We, very strongly recommend that you join a Support Group rather than phone or online. The reason is quite simple, seeing and experiencing a person’s expression and emotions face to face is priceless. You can never get the same effect on the phone or online or even reading someone’s story.
Conclusion:
A Caregiver, you are giving more physical help to your loved ones. As a Supporter, you are giving more emotional help to your loved ones. So, the question one would ask, can I be a Caregiver and a Supporter? Well, quite simple, you decide. In my opinion, yes you definitely can but make sure you know the difference.
When I sleep at night, I feel good knowing I have helped someone out there. It is better than not doing anything.
I want to say that giving HOPE to someone is the same as giving LIFE to that person. So keep up the good work and God Bless You.