SUPPORT AND CAREGIVERS (PART 2)
Dealing with Being a Caregiver:
Giving care and support during this time can be a challenge. Many caregivers put their own needs and feelings aside to focus on the person with chronic illness. This can be hard to maintain for a long time, and it’s not good for your health. The stress can have both physical and psychological effects. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of others. It’s important for everyone that you give care to you.
Changing Roles:
Whether you're younger or older, you may find yourself in a new role as a caregiver. You may have been an active part of someone's life before, but perhaps now that they are a chronic patient or cancer patient, the way you support them is different. It may be in a way in which you haven't had much experience, or in a way that feels more intense than before. Even though care-giving may feel new to you now, many caregivers say that they learn more as they go through their loved one's chronic or cancer experience.
Common situations that they describe:
1. Patients may only feel comfortable with a spouse or partner taking care of them
2. Parents may have a hard time accepting help from their adult children
3. Adult children with chronic illness or cancer may not want to rely on their parents for care
4. Caregivers may have health problems themselves, making it physically and emotionally hard to take care of someone else
Whatever your roles are now, it’s very common to feel confused and stressed at this time. If you can, try to share your feelings with others or a join support group. Or you may choose to seek help from a counselor.
Someone wrote: Mom was always the rock in the family. Now it's almost as though we're the parents and she's the child. It's hard because we have our own children to take care of and jobs to go to.
Ask for Help:
Many caregivers say that, looking back, they took too much on themselves. Or they wish they had asked for help from friends or family sooner. Take an honest look at what you can and can't do. What things do you need or want to do yourself? What tasks can you turn over or share with people? Be willing to let go of things that others can help you do.
Some examples may be:
1. Helping with chores, such as cooking, cleaning, shopping, or yard work
2. Taking care of the kids or picking them up from school or activities
3. Driving your loved one to appointments or picking up medicines
4. Being the contact person to keep others updated
Accepting help from others isn't always easy. But remember that getting help for yourself can also help your loved one—you may stay healthier, your loved one may feel less guilty about all the things that you're doing, some of your helpers may offer useful skills and have extra time to give you.
Talking Care of Yourself:
All family caregivers need support. But you may feel that your needs aren't important right now since you’re not the cancer patient or chronic patient. Or that there's no time left for yourself. You may be so used to taking care of someone else that it's hard for you to change focus. But caring for your own needs, hopes, and desires can give you the strength you need to carry on.
Ways to Take Care of Yourself:
Taking time to recharge your mind, body, and spirit can help you be a better caregiver.
You may want to think about the following:
Make Time for Yourself:
1. Find Time to Relax. Take at least 15-30 minutes each day to do something for yourself. For example, try to make time for a nap, exercise, yard work, a hobby, watching tv or a movie, or whatever you find relaxing. Do gentle exercises, such as stretching. Or, take deep breaths or just sit still for a minute.
2. Don't Neglect Your Personal Life. Cut back on personal activities, but do not cut them out entirely. For example, look for easy ways to connect with friends.
3. Keep Up Your Routine. If you can, try to keep doing some of your regular activities. If you don't, studies show that it can increase the stress you feel. You may have to do things at a different time of day or for less time than you normally would, but try to still do them.
4. Ask for Help. Find larger chunks of "off-duty" time by asking for help. Find things others can do or arrange for you, such as appointments or errands.
Caring for Your Body:
Someone wrote: When I get home from class, my mom and I take turns running while one of us stays with my dad. My run is my time for me, and the only way I can keep it together.
You may find yourself so busy and concerned about your loved one that you don't pay attention to your own physical health. But it's very important that you take care of your health, too. Doing so will give you strength to help others.
It's important to:
1. Stay up-to-date with your medical needs,
Keep up with your own checkups, screenings, and other appointments.
2. Watch for signs of depression or anxiety,
Stress can cause many different feelings or body changes,
But if they last for more than two weeks, talk to your doctor.
3. Take your medicine as prescribed,
Ask your doctor to give you a large prescription to save trips to the pharmacy. Find out if your grocery store or pharmacy delivers.
4. Try to eat healthy meals,
Eating well will help you keep up your strength,
If your loved one is in the hospital or has long doctor's appointments, bring easy-to-prepare food from home. For example, sandwiches, salads, or packaged foods and canned meats fit easily into a lunch container.
5. Get enough rest,
Listening to soft music or doing breathing exercises may help you fall asleep. Short naps can energize you if you aren't getting enough sleep,
Be sure to talk with your doctor if lack of sleep becomes an ongoing problem.
6. Exercise,
Walking, swimming, running, or bike riding are only a few ways to get your body moving.
Any kind of exercise (including working in the garden, cleaning, mowing, or going up stairs) can help you keep your body healthy. Finding at least 15-30 minutes a day to exercise may make you feel better and help manage your stress.
New stresses and daily demands often add to any health problems caregivers already have. And if you are sick or have an injury that requires you to be careful, it's even more important that you take care of yourself.
Here are some changes caregivers often have:
1. fatigue (feeling tired)
2. weaker immune system (poor ability to fight off illness)
3. sleep problems
4. slower healing of wounds
5. higher blood pressure
6. changes in appetite or weight
7. headaches
8. anxiety, depression, or other mood changes
Understand your Feelings:
Giving yourself an outlet for your own thoughts and feelings is important. Think about what would help lift your spirits. Would talking with others help ease your load? Or would you rather have quiet time by yourself? Maybe you need both, depending on what's going on in your life. It's helpful for you and others to know what you need.
Join a Support Group:
Support groups can meet in person, by phone, or online. They may help you gain new insights into what is happening, get ideas about how to cope, and help you know that you're not alone. In a support group, people may talk about their feelings, trade advice, and try to help others who are dealing with the same kinds of issues. Some people like to go and just listen. And others prefer not to join support groups at all. Some people aren't comfortable with this kind of sharing.
We, very strongly recommend that you join a Support Group rather than phone or online. The reason is quite simple, seeing and experiencing a person’s expression and emotions face to face is priceless. You can never get the same effect on the phone or online or even reading someone’s story.
Today we will stop here. There is so much that I want to share with you, but time is just not on our side. Maybe at a later stage we will come back to this message.
I hope that you enjoyed this message.
There is something that I need to tell all of you. I want to thank every single one of you for your support that you have given me. You have no idea that you have been helping me get better. Every single one of you in some way makes a difference in my life and helps me in recovery. Vinesh, even you don’t know that you have actually been helping me in my recovery and I thank you for that.
I want to give special thanks to all the care givers and supporters that make changes in patient’s lives. Without you, we will be lost.
In conclusion,
I want to say that giving HOPE to someone is the same as giving LIFE to that person. So keep up the good work and God Bless You.